So, the rigors of four independent people sharing one refrigerator and kitchen have finally caught up with this house. All de facto boundaries of personal "spaces" within our fridge have disappeared in the previous weeks. Finding my cream pushed behind someone's leftovers and spilled has empowered me to speak out.
I'm working on a solution for this and the other common spaces problem. People have laid claims to their storage areas, some of which are unreasonable. People leave dishes in the sink, also unreasonable. Messes get ignored and grow as a result, unreasonable.
What have the readers of this blog implemented when sharing living spaces with people you weren't sleeping with? Any pitfalls? How did you keep dishes out of the sink?
Oh, and the first person to cite Garret Hardin's specious "Tragedy of the Commons" gets a cock punching. We're not talking about sterilizing human beings to keep the Earth from being overpopulated. We're not even talking about consuming commonly held goods. I'm just designing a workable attitude toward property rights with respect to space and time to avoid inefficiency and to prevent people from resenting and hating the others. Perhaps it's a little late, but it's a good experiment.
5 comments:
And yet they still aren't a fraction as messy as Josh was.
:)
Well, I think the main thing is to act quickly. Everyone needs to agree who did it, and make sure that it is handled fast. The longer you wait, the more you can stew, and the worse memories get.
We had to have bags/bins for each person. You stuck the plates into those bins until you washed them. If people forgot, your stuff got thrown into your bin. If it was really bad, it was put in a bin, then on your bed. So you would see it. The sink stayed clear. Having your own dishes helps, as then only you should use them. We got lax in the end. Make sure any plates that are unknown are decided by committee, so you aren't accused of a witch hunt.
Fridge thing? Just watch your own space. As it gets trampled on, act swiftly and confront. I bet that you were lax at enforcing boundaries, until they disappeared. You only have sovereignty for as long as you can hold it. ;-) Its a slippery slope.
It's hard if boundaries (fridge space) and common practices (wash your own dish immediately after use)are not established from the very beginning. Starting out, everyone is polite and so no one wants to stand up, set the expectations straight and look the the total anal jerk...but its what needs to be done.
Trying to do this slowly and on a per incident basis only causes frustration by both parties. Also, you can't enforce a fridge boundary that has only been created in your head. But if the policy has clearly been established you can easily say, "hey, we decided as a group to do X. please make sure you take care of this." Then, it is him/her failing the group rather than a personal attack on the individual behavior.
My suggestion, for now, take the annoyances as such and nothing more. Realize you are leaving soon, but take these lessons with you and set clear boundaries for your next roommate. Hopefully, whoever it is ;-) will be a better, more respectful individual to live with.
[PS - Don't think that just b/c its a loved one as a roommate that you don't have to set it straight. It just makes it easier to be honest about the expectations.]
What the heck is Sara talking about??? :)
Andy, we both know that your lack to clean the coffee press is going to be the biggest of our kitchen problems as it was already established in our pre-living together state.
Yes, I have very strong expectations for my next roommate. I will guide her with the firm but gentle hand she needs.
Just kidding, Emma. Don't hit me. :)
You're right in both posts, though I suggest the coffee press arrangement worked for me. No one cleans the lint out of the dryer air filter until they're about to use it again. Same concept.
With respect to the Arlington house, part of the reason it got the way it was is I sort of dropped out of the picture for about a week. I didn't cook anything, used my own personal fridge for my few needs, and went out with Emma a lot during the last few days.
Sunday morning, I woke up and found: a wine glass sitting in the middle of the range, several open boxes of leftovers with room temperature chicken on the counter, a single chicken wing in a baggie lying out, and a dirty plate and two glasses sitting on my coffee maker. As I told Emma, next time that happens I'm taping my used rifle target to the wall behind it.
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